Monday 15 April 2013

Celebrity Arrogance


An unusual subject for praise this week: Malawi.

On a recent trip to Malawi, the pop singer Madonna was stripped of her VIP status on her way out of the country, along with her entourage. Heavens forfend, they had to line up with other passengers and were frisked by security officials! Madonna was seemingly annoyed by this reluctance to treat her like a millionaire celebrity. I say ‘seemingly’ because Madonna has since denied her arrogant behaviour, but personally I prefer to believe the political integrity of Malawian President Joyce Banda. She was quoted as saying that Madonna wanted Malawi “to be forever chained to the obligation of gratitude” for Madonna’s charitable contributions to the country (Malawi is where Madonna adopted her two children from, because American kids apparently weren’t good enough!).

Banda went on to say, “Granted, Madonna is a famed international musician. But that does not impose an injunction of obligation on any government under whose territory Madonna finds herself, including Malawi, to give her state treatment. Such treatment, even if she deserved it, is discretionary not obligatory … Among the many things that Madonna needs to learn as a matter of urgency is the decency of telling the truth. For her to tell the whole world that she is building schools in Malawi when she has actually only contributed to the construction of classrooms is not compatible with manners of someone who thinks she deserves to be revered with state grandeur.” Also, the President said that Madonna was “a musician who desperately thinks she must generate recognition by bullying state officials instead of playing decent music on the stage.”

Finally a country is standing up to the unprincipled status of pampered celebrities. Excellent work, President Banda. But let’s hope that Malawi doesn’t release a comedy pop song opposing Madonna, otherwise the BBC might feel compelled to ban it! In case anybody doesn’t get that reference, the legacy of Thatcher is censorship!

Monday 8 April 2013

Don't Forget Today's Relevance

Labour leader Ed Miliband has launched his local election campaign today, including some very worthy policies. He wants to reinstate the 50% income tax rate for the highest earners, introduce a mansion tax, crack down on rising train fares, and reform the rip-off energy market. Unfortunately, nobody is going to listen to any of this now, because Margaret Thatcher has died, which I’m sure will receive blanket news coverage (and most of it probably fawning). Even in death, she is stealing the limelight for the right-wingers. I suppose it would be disrespectful of me to say anything too negative about her on her death-day just to promote my own socialist agenda, but I’m certainly not going to say anything good about her either. Just don’t forget the other news stories of the day which will have more constructive impact for the future.

Monday 1 April 2013

Whovians Have Become Simpletons


The new series of Doctor Who started last Saturday and certain points need to be made.

1.      No series, regardless of popularity, should be advertised on the BBC News Channel. News is meant to be about current affairs in global or national events, not self-promotion.

2.      Doctor Who nowadays is primarily about special effects, fast-paced action sequences and appealing to a teenage (or childish) audience. Gone are the sublime days when William Hartnell would impress people with pure acting even though he sometimes had to walk with a stick. Or when Patrick Troughton could combine clownish comedy with awe-inspiring gravitas. Or when Peter Davison actually had cynicism towards humanity rather than fawning servility. Doctor Who hasn’t been daring for a long time.

3.      Jeopardy has been forgotten. For a drama to have real impact, the viewer must believe that bad things can happen so that the relief is then palpable. David Tennant was once surrounded by Cybermen only to escape by producing an otherwise unheard of device which deactivated them. If the Doctor can do that to any enemy then there is no jeopardy and therefore no real excitement. I remember when the companion Adric died because of Cyberman intervention (and when I say died, I don’t mean transported to a parallel universe!); that implemented real jeopardy where you never quite knew what was going to happen next – a crucial element for compelling drama.

4.      Russell T. Davies was a condescending, superficial shit who ruined the legacy of Doctor Who. His suggestion that he was simply carrying on the events of the Hartnell era was downright offensive to those who truly understood the series at that time (Hartnell’s Doctor wasn’t always a nice man and certainly didn’t feel the need to placate the masses!). Even when Davies said he was going to produce a more adult sci-fi with Torchwood it still became a vehicle for the ever-conceited John Barrowman to spoil character development (i.e. if a character is immortal, then where is the fucking jeopardy?!). And even though Davies is now gone, his replacement (as well as Matt Smith) have done nothing to alleviate the inane dramatic platitudes which are no longer worth watching on Saturday evenings.

5.      Finally, to anyone who doubts me, watch ‘The Caves Of Androzani’ from1983. Try to put out of your mind the dated effects and set designs, try to ignore Davies’ brainwashing propaganda that his storylines were better than they used to be, just focus on the script and well-developed characters (especially the intensely wondrous Sharaz Jek), and see what Doctor Who should always have been.