Suck On This Humbug!

Reasons that I hate Christmas.
1. Commercialism. Now I'm certainly not gonna spout out religious sound bites that Christmas has lost its true meaning because 'Jesus died for us' bollocks. But there are some people (especially those with young children) who enjoy the magic and sparkle of Santa Claus bringing presents on his reindeer and all that jazz. Yet this notion has seemingly been eternally corrupted by the new spirit of Christmas: shopping! A pastime which people indulge in far too much anyway the rest of the year round becomes a national obsession in December; so much so that stress takes over any feelings of joy. It's almost as if (and sorry about the religious reference again) 'Glory to god in the highest' has been misconstrued with a simple spelling mistake to become 'Glory to god in the High St'! Which brings me on to my second point.
2. Child competition. Some mothers even fight in stores nowadays in order to get the last fashionable toy off the shelf for their beloved children who are apparently somehow better than anybody else's children. Perhaps if parents bought their children little gifts all the year round then they wouldn't feel so much pressure to perform at Yuletide. Or perhaps - and this is a big one, I know - children should be brought up to understand that money and materialism don't encapsulate all of the saving graces of this planet. Wow, wouldn't that be something, to have a child with a sense of morality regarding wealth.
3. Inane happiness. If I'm generally pissed off with the world then - believe me - a few baubles, a bit of tinsel, a fake tree and a fat man in a bright red suit drinking Coke ain't gonna make a damn bit of difference to me. But some people seem to think that Christmas gives them the right to lecture me for being too serious. It simply doesn't. And finally...
4. The same bloody simple-minded music. There are a few good Christmas songs, especially The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl's 'Fairytale of New York'. But most of them are just shallow attempts at cashing in on the festive season with very little real effort. I wish that Slade and Wizzard would fuck right off.
I'm looking forward to being visited by three ghosts this year; only I don't think that the ghost of Christmas past will have much good to show me.

The Eternal Drudgery Of Working Class Existence

A state of tranquil repose is rudely interrupted by a buzz-beep drone, so I reach over with an apathetic frame of mind to switch off my alarm. I become a walking contradiction: various little routines of preparation for work help to calm the inspiration which may have tormented me during the night, while watching a DVD that I like or listening to a fine piece of music will prevent the mediocrity from entirely devouring my soul; maintaining the balance of rage and love is paramount. When I get to work it isn't long before customers commence wielding their attempts at power play; they know they can always get the last word for that is the nature of 'professionalism'. They talk down to me with demeaning tones secure in the knowledge that if I show a hint of independent spirit they will simply complain about me and thereby threaten to remove my financial livelihood. I want to yell at them,"You think I'm afraid of you, you fuck! I could whip your ass through the fucking streets if I wanted to, and you sure as hell couldn't beat me in a battle of verbal volleyball; my gift with words is unparalleled, my capacity for independent thought allows me to dwell on concepts that you will never even consider, and you dare to patronise me just because you can manipulate this greed-ridden society more to your advantage than I can!" But of course I can't say those things. The institutionalised economic repression has nearly as much of a hold on me as it does most people, only their blinkered ignorance allows them to not be bothered by it.
Lunchtime comes and half an hour's reprieve develops as I'm able to stroll around town in a pleasant little world of my own. The college girls are all around and a momentary inspiration hits me that if I could get a cool girlfriend my general malaise in motivation would lift, possibly allowing my life to progress at a more steady and decisive pace. But nothing brings my otherwise calm insecurities more to the surface than being confronted with an attractive young lady accompanied by the expectation of wit and inane jollity. So my morale is sapped once more as I stand in a stilted frame of anxious contemplation; if I can't even form a long-term relationship then how in the hell am I ever going to advance my career to a state where I will wake up each morning smiling?
The afternoon passes exactly as the morning did and I get to go home knowing I have a few hours of freedom to explore. A stimulant is required to redress the balance of perpetual mediocrity. Alcohol. It will not only numb the anxiety but also give me hope that tomorrow will be different, that I am capable of world-shaking, that fear itself is largely an illusion; perhaps everything truly can have a purpose, perhaps my screaming unfulfilled potential can finally reach the fore and achieve that greatness which forever tempts me at the edge of my fingertips. Surely it must be possible? But the hyper-sensitivity that so easily takes me to the pinnacle of mental agility will of course slam me right back down to the ground again when the tranquil repose into which I glide ever so gently will once more be rudely interrupted by the eternal drudgery and its intermittent companion, the hangover. Is this really all there is?

Cancer Equals Hysteria

Cancer! Say the word and it immediately conjures up a hysterical reaction in most people. This isn't necessarily all their fault, a major catalyst is the media. A report was released today from the World Cancer Research Fund outlining how lifestyle factors can help to prevent cancer, thereby suggesting that people are currently significantly contributing to their own demise. The main recommendations of the report are that certain types of food should be avoided such as alcohol, sugary drinks, red meat, bacon and ham; everyone should be exercising each day; weight should not be gained through adulthood; and even people with a Body Mass Index of just under 25 should try to lose some more weight. Forgive me, but does this perfect person actually exist?! If they do, I'd like to meet them and shake them by the hand. We lead hectic, pressured lives nowadays in a world which is riddled with imperfections; how are people meant to adhere to these stringent lifestyle regulations when they are perpetually accompanied by long working hours, family commitments, money worries, and (heavens forbid) the opportunity of a social life? And the media does not help! Today's news reports have almost entirely focused on negativity; cancer has been portrayed solely as a "matter of risk" for people to deal with themselves. It is not mentioned that two-thirds of cancers are NOT preventable, you can get them regardless of what you eat, just like you can sometimes get lung cancer without ever having smoked a cigarette; these non-preventable cancers amount to a whopping seven million cases per year which the reports have not taken into account. It's no wonder that people get hysterical with worry when they are near enough blamed for getting cancer themselves even though this is often not the case; and let's not forget that stress will make any condition worse given the opportunity, the media certainly don't help with that. So I leave you with a quote from cancer specialist Karol Sikora which I wholeheartedly concur with: "The main message I would have is not to worry about it, to enjoy life, if you like a glass of wine have it". Hear hear.

Negotiation And Manipulation

Difficult Issues

The postal strikes are continuing unabated with no end currently in sight. The sides are now even becoming petty as the Royal Mail accuses the Communication Workers' Union of talking "cobblers"! The ability to compromise is apparently impossible on both sides. But surely this is not the way to behave. As much as I loathe the way in which competition in capitalist business structures cause the workers to lose out to unsocial working hours, insulting wage increases and a domineering attitude from managers, strike action will never be the solution. If an organisation were to give in to the strikers' demands then a precedent would be set which would be extremely difficult to reverse: every time the workers had a grievance they would simply strike, get their demands granted and the business would quickly sink without trace for being uncompetitive causing everyone to lose their jobs. I also don't believe that the postal workers are gaining a great deal of sympathy with the general public as more and more post gets delayed in a backlog which will inevitably cause some of that post to go astray; it's certainly not a situation that I'm happy with! Surely a more intelligent line of attack would be to exploit the fact that Trade Unions are a major source of funding for the Labour Party. If the CWU made a pledge that all of its members were immediately switching their allegiance and their money to the Liberal Democrats, the government would go into a panic-stricken frenzy in order to solve the conflict. Just a suggestion, I really wouldn't expect anybody else to come up with anything that bright. However, I'm not trying to make these issues sound simple and I certainly don't support the fat-cat bigwigs and their typical coercive tactics, but in the current climate of people getting increasingly irritated at not receiving their post, it will only take one cheap and efficient competitor to close in on the domestic postal-service market for Royal Mail to vanish from people's minds like an old memory.












Patronising Politics

Gordon Brown has recently indulged in (or at least failed to damp down) profligate speculation on whether a General Election was going to be called. After seeing the Conservative Party do so well at their conference and the subsequent polls, the Prime Minister elected to restrain himself, lying to the general public by telling them that this was the decision he would have made anyway. But it gets even worse from the Labour spin doctors. During the Tory conference, Shadow Chancellor George Osborne had been forced to unveil a policy (due to the possible looming election!) of increasing the threshold of inheritance tax. Now that the election is not happening, Chancellor Alistair Darling has released his plan in his pre-Budget speech today to - surprise, surprise! - increase the threshold for inheritance tax, apparently something he had planned on doing all along. What a coincidence! Exactly how stupid are British people meant to be nowadays? This sort of political manipulation is abhorrent and is something I was hoping Labour would get away from now that Tony Blair had cleared off to Europe. Seemingly this is not to be, and for the time being politics will continue in its condescending lunacy.

Brown And Thatcher?!

When Gordon Brown - the Labour Prime Minister - invites former right-wing extremist Margaret Thatcher to a pleasant meeting at Downing Street, something is going seriously awry in the world of politics. This is a woman who if she had her way would decimate the NHS and make the meaning of life become getting rich! Of course Brown is never going to return to the glory values of Old Labour socialism, but to have tea and cakes with the arch-nemesis from the past is slapping previous leaders and reformers in the face. I imagine Tony Benn must be fuming while Clement Attlee turns in his grave. Up until this point Brown has acquitted himself with a steady, forthright attitude towards politics which I condone (and I certainly have no problems with the word 'stoical' as some of the media seem to), but this latest betrayal of great ideologies is an unnerving glance into what the future may bring. Hopefully, it will just be a glitch and policies will continue to rule news rather than self-promotional spin of being a 'conviction politician', or should that be 'conceited'.

Educational Elitism Is Counterproductive

A-level results were released this week and (would you believe it!) the number of A grades went up yet again. Wow, I would never have expected that. And so more students scream with delight for the slavering media without ever really realising that the more A grades there are, the more difficult it is for those students to distinguish themselves from each other. It has now reached the point where universities are having to make students go through interview procedures or check for extra-curricular activities on their Records Of Achievement (regardless of what grades they have) in order to decide which are the brightest because the majority are continually getting high marks. This isn't a victory for the educational system, it is a manipulation of the curriculum by teachers who tell students every technique in the book for passing exams and thereby giving their colleges good standing in the league tables. Surely it would be better to have a system where the top 20% (or less) of students got A grades and nobody else did; this would distinguish the best from the rest.
Another unnerving development is that independent and grammar schools showed double the improvement that comprehensives managed. This is another example of how the rich are given greater advantages over the average person who can't afford to 'shop around' for their children's education. Comprehensive is almost a dirty word for politicians nowadays, but that's only because they've neglected them for so long in favour of 'Middle England' voters. So please take it from me: people are not getting cleverer, society is just becoming more sneaky about it.

Hindu Bullshit

Why am I even having to write this new post on my blog? Why does society tolerate such obsessive religious nonsense? The Skanda Vale in Wales recently has been the place for legal wranglings concernings Shambo (what the fuck?!) the bull. Shambo was diagnosed many weeks ago with bovine TB but was not immediately slaughtered as would usually be the case because this bull was considered sacred by a group of Hindu monks. Are you kidding me?! If this bull had been transported even short distances across the country it could have infected herds of cows causing farmers to lose their livelihoods; and farmers who had already lost their livelihoods through such an epidemic must have been livid at the blatant double standards. Let's also not forget that bovine TB has the potential to infect humans; frankly I wouldn't have particularly cared if the monks had been infected but they could then have taken it outside their 'sanctuary' and allowed it to pass to innocent hard-working people.
Thankfully, yesterday a group of police officers were finally allowed to barge their way in and take the bull to the slaughterhouse, an act which should have been carried out weeks ago instead of having to wade through acres of possibly infectious red tape! This is simply another example of how religion causes more problems than it solves. I only wish Michael Jackson had been there to scream out "Shambo!"

Diana, The Sheep's Princess

Yesterday afternoon, I had the severe misfortune to catch some of the Concert For Diana on the BBC. It was basically full of fawning, servile 'celebrities' wanting a bit of publicity as they knew that thousands would be in attendance and millions watching on TV. They talked in what they hoped would be perceived as humble rapture about the woman who was killed by her own love-hate relationship with the press. Everyone seems to have forgotten that dead people did sometimes have failings when they were alive; Diana was a considerably capable manipulator of words and emotions, controlling her own destiny with crocodile tears in front of Martin Bashir, and always being certain to demonise the Royal Family as every hero needs a good villain. The hysteria of the people at that concert (who obviously have had nothing better to do with their whole lives for the last ten years) was only matched by the hysteria on the day of her funeral, when the entire country shut down for a day of self-glorified mourning. I went for a walk that day; the only good thing about it was that there was so little traffic on the roads that the country felt much more peaceful; I didn't feel depressed at all. These people who obsess about this decidedly average woman never seem to want to recognise the intelligent work that Prince Charles has performed for many charities, because they still hold a grudge that he had an affair in a marriage that he never wanted to be involved with in the first place! These people, are of course, sheep. They do not want to think outside what they have seen on the sensationalist television channels or read in the tabloid newspapers. That is why they love Diana so much: because the people's princess did so love being the shepherd.

The Social Construction Of Ties

Social Constructionism is the premise where the norms of society are passed from generation to generation to the point where they become taken-for-granted assumptions that people automatically believe to be true without any sense of rational thought. These assumptions become followed on a daily basis, never being considered or analysed as people cannot bring themselves to believe that generations of social well-doers in the past could possibly have all been weak-minded sheep or just plain wrong. And so things that vary from social constraints ('hard work is good for the soul'!) to the downright ridiculous (a roast beef meal should only be eaten at Sunday lunchtimes) permeate society to the extent that only the free-thinking few can think outside the box and will continually be ostracised for it.
A good example of social construction which fits somewhere in between the two extremes is the tie. If you work in professional white-collar employment (as I unfortunately do), every morning (after having been woken up by the socially constructed alarm clock) you will then proceed to take a long piece of strangely-shaped material and tie it in a methodical knot around your neck. Let's think about this for a second: you take what is in effect a noose, put it as tightly around your jugular as is humanly possible without causing permanent damage, and then ensure that it will not be dislodged from that zone of discomfort by doing up your top shirt button and folding over the collar! And why do we perform this masochistic practice every day? Because somebody - god knows who, but somebody - in their eternal wisdom of stupidity, decided many moons ago that this was a really smart thing to do. So now, the sheep in the world automatically presume this to be true as so many have done it before them. But, my friends, if you think about it rationally, there is no logical basis as to why we wear these restrictive contraptions of clothing; it is pure social constructionism. Of course, nobody will ever pay attention to this argument, because the overriding principle of being a sheep is that you don't want to think for yourself. Nevertheless, I will always hate ties!

From Casinos To Piracy

A casino is set to open in the Midlands any time now; not one of the 'super-casinos' that have been widely discussed as of late, but still the largest such venture to date in the UK. Casinos are bad for society for one simple reason: the average gambler doesn't stand a chance; or, in more common terminology, 'the house always wins'. This precisely represents the moral decay that is currently taking place around us. Only money matters; big businesses and the strengthening of the economy are given high priority over the fiscal affairs of the indebted masses. As long as the casinos are making this country richer, then the government is blind to all other arguments, and the gap between the rich and the poor continues to widen. Personally, I think hardcore gamblers are foolish who ought to learn more willpower and realise that desperation that excessive very quickly gets out of hand; but I still don't want to see free license granted to exploit these people out of their hard-earned cash at every turn. Governments simply demonstrate moral corruption by endorsing this kind of behaviour.

The only gamblers I respect are those intelligent few who are able to temporarily con casinos out of the money which usually resides in the fatcats' grubby paws. Which brings me to...
Piracy of CDs and DVDs. The reason I see a connection here is because I view both these issues as the rich versus the poor; except with piracy the poor are winning! People who, due to working far too many hours in a week or are restricted to a piss-poor minimum wage, don't have the time or the money to go to the cinema every week or buy original discs from the shops at ten pounds a time, are able to gain copies from their friends at much lower cost to be viewed at home at their leisure. Sure, I understand the arguments about organised crime funding terrorism and all that, but all of the 'pirates' that I've ever come into contact with have just been ordinary folk trying to get by with luxuries that they just can't afford. They're decent people who want to watch the latest film without having to steal their kids' lunch money! And anyway, do you really think that the celebrities and multi-millionaire producers give a damn about organised crime? Of course they don't, that's just their sound bite. All they care about is retaining more money and power for their own future; and it scares them to death to think that the little people might be able to take all of that away from them. Bless their little cotton socks if they have to work a bit harder for their millions nowadays and they can't live in mansions anymore. And, to be honest, it's their own fault to begin with; all pirates are doing is setting up their own small businesses and allowing the silent hand of free market economics to run its course. Capitalists have been hoist by their own petard. So up the pirates I say, it helps with redistribution of wealth. Now if only casinos could be razed to the ground...

Abort the Catholics!

Yesterday Cardinal Keith O'Brien, Scotland's most senior Roman Catholic (RC), stated that RC politicians who are pro-choice regarding abortion were no longer particularly welcome in the RC church. He said that abortion was a "social evil", an "unspeakable crime", a "wanton killing of innocents", and that children were being "murdered in their mothers' womb". In one speech, Mr O'Brien managed to set back the morality of Roman Catholics about 40 years.
In 1967, abortion was legalised (along with homosexuality, another thing which sticks in the craw of the Catholic faith) because it was deemed by intelligent politicians that all women had the right to choose whether they wanted to have a baby or not, and by intelligent scientists that the extremely limited level of consciousness demonstrated by a foetus in the first trimester of birth was not nearly enough to constitute murder. Since then, although abortion is quite rightly not something that society takes lightly, it has become generally understood that sometimes giving birth is a really terrible decision for a woman to be forced into. For instance, if a woman were to get pregnant after having being raped, how can any religion say that this is an act of God (probably working in his 'mysterious ways') and that the woman should then have to live with that bastard child for the rest of her life. I wonder what Mr O'Brien would say if one of his female relatives got pregnant like this; would he truly tell her that to have the pregnancy terminated is against God's will and could damn her to Hell?! Surely that attitude is significantly sicker than condoning pro-choice for abortion. The excessive, inflammatory and just downright conceited language that the Cardinal used in his speech could be damaging to young ladies who gave in to temptation one night and then felt manipulated by her family's religious zeal to live with her mistake by never again being given the chance of independence (or at least not for another 16 years). Penalties like this are simply too harsh in a modern society of opportunity. If only there were a gene for religion then genetic screening of foetuses could take place so that all Roman Catholic's could be aborted! This might stink a little of ethnic cleansing, but no more than what RCs believe will happen to us heathens after we die: an eternity in Hell while they bathe in the luxury of Heaven.
Really all Keith O'Brien is doing is preaching a culture of fear. A power-mongering obsessive who can't bear to relinquish his control over the society around him, and would quake in his boots if he had to admit that his own warped upbringing was incorrect. His words are despicable and should make the Roman Catholic faith feel utterly ashamed. But of course they will mew and follow him like blind sheep, because most religious followers lack the capacity for independent thought. Therefore I forward a motion here and now that all primary school pupils, when being taught collective nouns in English class - a school of whales, a coven of witches - are taught the phrase 'An abortion of Catholics'!

Formula for economic repression

1. Pay people exactly the right amount of money so that if they scrimp and save they can just about get by, thereby making them seem ungrateful and lazy if they show concern about the redistribution of wealth.
2. Make all jobs formulaic and similar in their levels of mediocrity so that any hope of leaving one job for another is quickly dashed.
3. Make job interviews conformist so that only by succumbing to a set of scripted answers which the employee can then be held to account with will they ever achieve any level of monetary success.
4. Ensure that alongside the tight-fistedness of the jobseekers' allowance there is also an incredible difficulty of gaining further employment if the loss of the previous job was due to resignation or a demonstration of a free independent spirit. This will guarantee that people live in fear of unemployment or any sense of true choice.
5. If an employee goes to an employer stating that they are in financial dire straits and desperately require more money just to live, ensure that employer states, "Show me what you can do for the business and I'll tell you what the business can do for you." This will sufficiently break their spirit.
6. If an employee finally loses their temper and does something aggressive, focus on their negative personality traits to reassure other people that society is never to blame for mental illness, nervous breakdowns or pure rage.
7. Reward anyone who only cares about money and materialistic gain at the expense of all else.

P.S. Anyone who truly believes any of the above points is immoral, corrupt, brainwashed, narrow-minded or just a complete wanker!

Dictatorship and Cowardice

Dictatorship
It was decided today that Gordon Brown would enter No. 10 Downing Street as British Prime Minister entirely unopposed. This is shameful for the democracy of a civilised nation. The obsessive control freaks of the New-Labour party have closed ranks yet again so that their members and trade union links will be denied their right to a vote. Brown must be creaming his pants right now with delight; spin and dictatorial methods of leadership have once more won the day. The left-wing opinion has been shoved out by a totalitarian ideology due to fear and a need for power. The only slight silver lining is that the deputy leadership contest looks to be very exciting and close; I only wonder exactly what say they will have in the running of this country.

Cowardice
It was also decided today that Prince Harry would not be allowed to go to Iraq. Where have the days gone when our great leaders would charge the country's forces into battle, when legends could be made of figureheads such as Henry V and William Wallace? Of course I understand that these times were long ago, but the world needs heroes and bravery - this was denied us today. Harry isn't afraid! It's just the politically correct 'leaders' who are scared for their own jobs! Where will they be when the charge of war commences? Probably back home drinking vintage wine and patronising their juniors. One senior army figure even had the demeaning attitude to say that Harry has "determination and undoubted talent - and I do not say that lightly"; if he truly meant that, he wouldn't hesitate to send the Prince into battle; there are more ways to get the Prince into Iraq than having to continually inform the gluttonous media about it, just have some guts and determination. I can't help feeling that the British armed forces, along with this country, has become cowardly.

Slightly scary scientology

Last night on a BBC Panorama documentary, many of the negative aspects of religion were demonstrated. Tommy Davis, a head figure in the scientology movement (that's right, the organisation which celebrities like Tom Cruise and John Travolta try to convince us is A-okay), effectively stalked and intimidated a BBC journalist. Davis would participate in haranguing the interviewer if the current interviewee was known to harbour opinions which were unfavourable to scientology, attacking the journalist with a Nazi-type conversational style - interrupting and talking over his opposition, then storming away before a response could be delivered. It made Davis look like a childish control freak at best, and a dictatorial monster at worst. Other figures in the scientology movement (including celebrities) were initially willing to take part in the documentary, but then pulled out if the wrong questions were asked. I understand that media reports can never be entirely objective and that a longer documentary than half an hour to explore all of the facts in depth would have been an improvement; but there's no doubt in my mind that scientology - and certainly Tommy Davis - has anything ranging from deep insecurity issues to ideas of world domination! The only thing I would really agree with them on is that if so many people do believe in the principles of scientology (and there are many in America), then it has just as much right to call itself a religion than any other organised group of worshippers; it shouldn't really be labelled as a cult anymore. It's just a really fucked up religion!
As with all religions, the need to belong somewhere and to feel that you're special does not give anybody a 'God-given' right to tell anybody else what to do. I wouldn't dream of indiscriminately confronting a scientologist in an attempt to rip their beliefs to pieces (even though I probably could), and yet I wonder after the bizarre behaviour I saw last night whether I'll wake up tomorrow morning to find that my binbags have been raided and a strange darkened vehicle is following me!. Let's hope so, I could do with some excitement to write about in my next blog!

Capitalism dominates again

So Gordon Brown's probably going to be the new British Prime Minister when the Labour sheep vote him in. He might even be marginally better than Tony Blair, by a margin of about 0.01%. I'd so love for old Labour to make a comeback and for Michael Meacher or John McDonnell to get in, bringing back a certain sense of socialism and redistribution of wealth. At least then my wanker boss wouldn't be able to pay me minimum fucking wage while he scrapes profits from the business to put into his own million pound trust fund. Gordon 'take a big breath' Brown is going to be almost identical to Blair in widening the gap between rich and poor, allowing personal religious fundamentalisms to interfere in national and world politics, burying socialism as far underground as is humanly possible so that kids nowadays have never even heard that there are alternative ideologies out there, and spinning every policy so that capitalism will once again reign supreme! Prime Minister Davros will look over his sheep and chuckle himself to sleep at night knowing that those who can make the most money - indiscriminately persecuting those without such ruthless ambition - will always hold the power of social and financial repression, while the hard working, honest-to-goodness decent people in the majority of the western world will struggle unsuccessfully to make morality the guiding issue of the moment rather than strengthening the economy. But will anybody else realise this? Not really, because although we live in the 21st century, the proletariat still deludes itself into thinking that they are in their rightful place of repressed workers and that there is nothing to be done. Then again, I don't really know what to do either, but at least I've got the brass balls big enough to have a diatribe about it to anyone who'll listen!
I hope you liked my rant, because there will no doubt be more to come in the near future; just wait till I get started on religion. If, however, you found this reading a little heavy, please feel free to go and watch another episode of Big Brother or Eastenders, or go and hang around with some chavs, you ignorant fuck!