Labour Beats Hester

Stephen Hester, chief executive of the Royal Bank of Scotland, has finally refused to accept his bonus of £963,000. But let’s not give him much applause. The only reason he’s backed down is because Labour were going to put the issue to a vote in the House of Commons, which they almost certainly would have won as the Liberal Democrats would have remembered at last that they were meant to be a party with a conscience! If it had been left to the Conservatives, Hester would have received the bonus (which, believe it or not, was only 60% of what he’d received in previous payouts - imagine how much he already has!) because the government did not want bank executives to think about going elsewhere to ply their trade. Let them go, as far as I’m concerned. In these days of austerity, we’ll find a way to manage without the greedy fat cats; economic advancement isn’t the only thing worth caring about.

South Carolina Nutcases

The Republican Party in the USA is, in my opinion, basically a party for rich people. When the Presidential elections take place in November, I will be staunchly hoping for a re-election of Barack Obama; even though I’m English and will not have a say in American politics, I know that the Democrats are better for the world, i.e. more peaceful. But it is still important to monitor the process of deciding who will represent the Republicans. On Saturday, South Carolina voted for Newt Gingrich (that’s right, he’s named after an amphibian!). Although this is the first state to declare him their favourite, it is still a disconcerting phenomenon. He is the most socially conservative of the remaining contenders. In the United States, socially conservative is often viewed in high esteem, but what it actually means is that abortion will not be funded even in the most extreme of cases, and the teaching of creationism will probably be given priority in schools rather than evolution. If Newt actually became President at the end of this year, the world may very well be in just as much trouble as when George W. Bush decided that invading Iraq was generally risk-free. Mitt Romney is still the most likely contender to win the race, but there are still some genuine concerns about his past tax returns (he’s only releasing details of the previous two years; what’s hiding before that?). Personally, I would love to see Ron Paul represent the Republican Party; eccentric as he is, he’s the most honest and trustworthy politician that I’ve seen in a long time. But he was sadly in fourth place in South Carolina. They must be mad.

Gervais Is Quality

Ricky Gervais impressed the masses - though probably not the celebrities - again last night as he hosted the Golden Globes awards ceremony. Although he was only invited back because of last year’s great ratings (rather than because his excellent comedy deserves it!), it was still cool that he got to host for the third year in a row, regardless of controversy.
This year he wasn’t quite as offensive to most people, but still cutting edge. He focused more on institutions than individuals, saying: “…the Golden Globes are just like the Oscars, but without all that esteem.” When a host can slate the ceremony he’s hosting and get a positive reaction, then you know he’s comedy genius. But there were thankfully still some pretentious celebs in the firing line. When introducing Madonna, Gervais said: “Our next presenter is the queen of pop - not you Elton, sit down.” And my favourite quip of all was when the iconoclastic comedian ironically tried to make the ever-lovable Colin Firth seem evil: “What you don’t know about Colin Firth is he’s very racist. I’ve also seen him punch a little blind kitten.”
Keep up the good work, Ricky; I’m already looking forward to next year!

PIPs Were Unnecessary Anyway

So there are some women who feel one of two ways. Either:
1. They feel desperately insecure; or
2. They are way too superficial.
Either way, this does not provide good reasoning for breast augmentation. Women who have breast implants are at an ethical disadvantage: that being, they care more about their body than they do about their soul.
Any human being who has any plastic surgery purely for cosmetic reasons has failed to appreciate themselves. I am not a representation of masculinity, but I am still grateful for what I have got. So should other people be. I don’t want to be too heartless to women who want to have their PIP breast implants removed due to recent health fears, but really they should have been more content with their bodies in the first place. Breasts are functional, regardless of size; it is a crying shame that women feel the need to conform to a social image of how the female body should look in order to impress men. There are good men in the world who only want an affectionate woman to be with, regardless of looks.
Perhaps these women who are now longing for regressive surgery should realise that they were better off to begin with. Because, simply, they were.

Will The Masses Back Him?

In his New Year’s speech, Prime Minister David Cameron has said that the country can unite this year around the “global drama” of the Olympics and the “glory” of the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee. Personally, I think the Olympics could turn out to be a colossal waste of money in these austere times, and I’d rather take a dump than watch any more vacuous and mundane footage of the royal family! But unfortunately, David Cameron is probably right. People generally do celebrate these specious national events, as was demonstrated during last year’s nauseous outpouring of jingoistic sentimentality during the royal wedding. So, the nation will unite, money will pour into Great Britain, the economy will recover, people will be able to find work again, we will all be shaking hands with each other as we pass in the street, and everyone will shout “hurrah” from their rooftops as they realise we have all been saved from the doom that has befallen other countries. And the result of all this will be … the coalition government will last forever! So be very careful what you wish for.