Mutual Friendship

The friends who really care are those who pick you up when you have fallen...

But you don't understand, do you? It has become such a trite saying that you are presumptuous. You presume to think that this solely applies to you. When you hear such a cliche, you think: “That's right, my real friends would pick me up when I have fallen and give me the help that I need; those who do not help me are not my real friends.” But that assumption makes you a dumbass! What you don't realise is that it also applies to those around you. If you are not picking up your friends, then why should they bother about you? A willingness to empathise is required. And when I say that you should pick them up, I don't mean inane jollity, meaningless banter and vague attempts to divert them from their problems; I mean a genuine emotional connection that will enrich their existence – just trying to understand someone who is different from yourself. (If that sounds pretentious, then you don't get what it is to be above shallow.) I mean displacing your own needs in the hope that your friend will start having trust in theirs – it is more difficult than most people realise. To understand the needs of someone who has different life beliefs from you is a noble aspiration. I'm not saying that you should try to connect with everyone (far from it in fact, most people seem to enjoy behaving like idiots!), but your true friends should deserve an extra effort.

So if ever someone tries to pick you up from the goodness of their heart, ask yourself what you have done recently.

 

A Christmas Joke

Many years ago, Santa was having his worst Christmas ever.

The elves had gone on strike. Trade negotiations with ACAS had broken down, and it was clear that no financial settlement was going to be reached before the new year. Santa had drafted in the tooth fairies to help out, but they just hadn't had enough training in present wrapping, so delivery was going to fall drastically behind schedule.
On top of that, Mrs Claus had asked for a trial separation. It had transpired that she'd been having an affair with the Easter Bunny for the last six months and now felt more satisfied than she'd been with Santa. Apparently bunnies just liked a lot more fun!
On top of that, Rudolph's nose had gone out! The traditional Christmas trial run on December the 23^rd had failed abysmally when lack of light had caused the sleigh to crash into pylons over Greenland, electrocuting two reindeer (not fatally), thereby preventing them from working on Christmas Eve.
And on top of that, Donner had got Blitzen pregnant, meaning that she was entitled to maternity leave at the most inconvenient of times. I mean, really, who would have thought that Donner was a fella?!
Then, to top it all off, when Santa was already running hours late and was worried about having to deliver presents well into the morning of December the 25^th, the chief tooth fairy (a conceited so-and-so) strolled into the main workshop, lackadaisical as ever, and said to Santa: “Yo, fatman! Where do you want this last Christmas tree shoving?!”
And to this day, that is why we put fairies on the tops of Christmas trees!