Mutual Friendship

The friends who really care are those who pick you up when you have fallen...

But you don't understand, do you? It has become such a trite saying that you are presumptuous. You presume to think that this solely applies to you. When you hear such a cliche, you think: “That's right, my real friends would pick me up when I have fallen and give me the help that I need; those who do not help me are not my real friends.” But that assumption makes you a dumbass! What you don't realise is that it also applies to those around you. If you are not picking up your friends, then why should they bother about you? A willingness to empathise is required. And when I say that you should pick them up, I don't mean inane jollity, meaningless banter and vague attempts to divert them from their problems; I mean a genuine emotional connection that will enrich their existence – just trying to understand someone who is different from yourself. (If that sounds pretentious, then you don't get what it is to be above shallow.) I mean displacing your own needs in the hope that your friend will start having trust in theirs – it is more difficult than most people realise. To understand the needs of someone who has different life beliefs from you is a noble aspiration. I'm not saying that you should try to connect with everyone (far from it in fact, most people seem to enjoy behaving like idiots!), but your true friends should deserve an extra effort.

So if ever someone tries to pick you up from the goodness of their heart, ask yourself what you have done recently.

 

A Christmas Joke

Many years ago, Santa was having his worst Christmas ever.

The elves had gone on strike. Trade negotiations with ACAS had broken down, and it was clear that no financial settlement was going to be reached before the new year. Santa had drafted in the tooth fairies to help out, but they just hadn't had enough training in present wrapping, so delivery was going to fall drastically behind schedule.
On top of that, Mrs Claus had asked for a trial separation. It had transpired that she'd been having an affair with the Easter Bunny for the last six months and now felt more satisfied than she'd been with Santa. Apparently bunnies just liked a lot more fun!
On top of that, Rudolph's nose had gone out! The traditional Christmas trial run on December the 23^rd had failed abysmally when lack of light had caused the sleigh to crash into pylons over Greenland, electrocuting two reindeer (not fatally), thereby preventing them from working on Christmas Eve.
And on top of that, Donner had got Blitzen pregnant, meaning that she was entitled to maternity leave at the most inconvenient of times. I mean, really, who would have thought that Donner was a fella?!
Then, to top it all off, when Santa was already running hours late and was worried about having to deliver presents well into the morning of December the 25^th, the chief tooth fairy (a conceited so-and-so) strolled into the main workshop, lackadaisical as ever, and said to Santa: “Yo, fatman! Where do you want this last Christmas tree shoving?!”
And to this day, that is why we put fairies on the tops of Christmas trees!

 

Well That's A Relief

Barack Obama has won the U.S. Presidential election. This means that we will be spared four years of Republican belligerence, as they would probably have been threatening unilateral war with Iran (well, bilateral alongside Israel) and been much more reactionary towards Russia - not that Russia deserves a round of applause for recent decisions (i.e. Syria) but we can do without the old nuclear foes at loggerheads again. So as much as Obama isn’t perfect - he never was able to shut Guantanamo Bay - at least he guarantees us a calm head in any future storms, and he believes in universal healthcare (something us Brits take far too much for granted). And not forgetting, of course, that Democrats are generally liberal and free-thinking people; rarely a bad thing.

 

The Force Is No Longer With You!

Disney is about to start producing Star Wars films. It's bad enough that George Lucas remade some elements of the original trilogy (and invariably made them worse!) just because special effects technology had moved on (he seemed to forget nostalgia value), but now he's basically sold Lucasfilm to a Mickey Mouse company - get it?! I understand that money talks, but this is just too far - check out the picture of what they did to R2-D2 for a publicity stunt. It seems the dark side may have won after all.

Random Coincidences

In 1955, a book was published that contained one million numbers. It was a statistical exercise; all of the numbers were selected at random, yet patterns still emerged. There were sequences such as 12345 and 6666666. If you randomise enough numbers, then you are statistically bound to get seemingly determined combinations like these. But regardless of how neat they may appear, they are still random.
Life is like this. You may sometimes experience coincidences which make you think: ‘Wow, that must mean something. A sequence of events like that could never occur by chance. Maybe some higher entity is trying to tell me something?’ But, unfortunately, this is not the case. It is just coincidence, because coincidences happen within randomness. There is a much, much lower chance of you progressing through life without ever having experienced any extreme coincidences.
Dwell on this concept, it is needed to fight against superstitious demagogues.

 

Freedom Vs Criminality

A man from Manchester (who I’m not going to name because he’s a dickhead!) has been jailed for four months for a public order offence. The crime committed was going out hours after the horrendous murders of police officers Fiona Bone and Nicola Hughes while wearing a t-shirt with some offensive words written on it. These words were: ‘one less pig perfect justice’. As I’ve already stated, this man was a dickhead; in fact, that’s putting it far too politely, he was a horrible bastard of a poor excuse for a human being. BUT … that should not be a criminal offence. In my life I have known many imbeciles with disturbing opinions, but I’ve always tried to re-educate them about the immorality of their idiotic / objectionable viewpoints (largely unsuccessfully, but at least I tried!), I never thought that locking them up would be a good idea; if you lock them all up together they’ll probably entrench their opinions even further through socialisation with other dickheads! Freedom of speech is bandied around like a cliche nowadays, but it is a fundamental core of civilised society. Locking up this man from Manchester sends out the wrong signals that people may be criminalised for simply disagreeing with the majority.

 

Ideological Conflations

In the 1980s, Ronald Reagan as U.S. President and Margaret Thatcher as British Prime Minister were able to work together to introduce a far-right capitalist ideology of widespread proportions. Wealth creation became paramount to the extent where being rich was more important than being decent. That legacy still stands today when customers are allowed to treat workers like dirt, and the worker simply has to grin while eating shit so that the business doesn’t lose any profit!
Most political analysts have said that in yesterday’s Presidential debate, Mitt Romney was more successful in putting his viewpoints across than Barack Obama. This is making an unnerving prospect a little more likely: that Romney could become President while David Cameron is Prime Minister. They’re both right-wingers and could do untold damages to global economics. Cameron has already tripled tuition fees (regardless of what his Lib Dem coalition partners wanted), and if Romney were President then perhaps we’d have more situations like a recent one in California:
Community colleges in California provide access to higher education for low-income students. But as budget cuts have recently reduced the number of classes on offer, some students were not getting placements. So one college came up with the bizarre plan of charging up to 400% more for a guaranteed seat in class! The idea was that the extra revenue earned by the extortionate charges would then be used to subsidise poorer students, but in fact the less well-off were only gaining access to the cheapest classes; the more expensive lessons were mainly going to the richer kids. I think that Republicans would love that idea! Thankfully the programme has now been put on hold after a protest against it resulted in students being pepper-sprayed! But there is little doubt in my mind that policies like these could easily become more widespread (and not just in America) if a right-wing capitalist ideology were once again to hold all the power.
So please support Barack Obama. Don’t let money rule the world.

Pints Are Better In Pubs

As a regular pub-goer, I value local boozers. I don’t consider myself an alcoholic, but I also have no objection to the occasional binge. So it concerns me when I hear that minimum pricing for alcohol is going to unfairly hit pub finances. You see, supermarkets pay no V.A.T. on food but pubs have to pay 20%! Not sure what the logic is in that other than perhaps governments have a vendetta against pubs. So supermarkets will compensate for any alcohol tax rises (e.g. minimum prices per unit) by cross-subsidising, i.e. dropping prices on food and soft drinks. This means that an even greater disparity will be created between supermarket prices for alcohol and corresponding pub prices. As much as governments want to reduce alcohol-related crime, disorder and health problems (and I do appreciate the well-meaning intentions of alcohol tax), I can’t help thinking that minimum pricing won’t affect supermarkets nearly as much as intended, meaning that people will probably stock up on booze at home, then get pissed before leaving the house for a night out where they may have less to drink at the pub but still be just as disorderly as before. So pubs will suffer and there will be little to show for it. If alcohol must be so heavily taxed, governments have to ensure that supermarkets do not cross-subsidise; that way booze prices will be competitive wherever you buy from.

 

Way Too Late

Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg has finally apologised for reversing his manifesto pledge of not raising tuition fees; he hasn’t said that the current policy of charging the extortionate amount of £9,000 per year is a bad policy, just that he originally made a promise that couldn’t be kept. So that’s okay then; he says he won’t break any pledges again and we’ll just take him at his word … I think not. As far as I’m concerned, Clegg lost all credibility as soon as did a deal with the devil, i.e. formed a coalition with the Conservatives. After that it was no surprise that other moral principles fell by the wayside. Former leaders Charles Kennedy and Menzies Campbell were able to vote against the fee rise along with 21 other Lib Dem M.P.s, but Clegg just couldn’t manage to honour his word because the power of government was too important to him. This apology is a waste of time: the Lib Dems will get trounced in the next general election and will only stand a chance of recovering once they’ve got rid of Clegg as their leader and put a great deal of distance between themselves and the Conservative Party. And students, I fear, will have to suffer long-term debt for many years to come.

 

Privatisation And Tax

In 2013 the government is making it compulsory for companies to provide private pensions to everyone; individuals will be automatically subscribed (thereby receiving monthly deductions from their wages) unless they opt out. This has the long-term intention of phasing out state pensions, allowing the government to save money. But will people who take up the offer of a private company pension - or rather, don’t make the effort to opt out - therefore pay less tax as it will no longer be required to pay for the state pension scheme? … Doubtful. The Tories tend to only cut taxes for rich people and businesses. The extra money saved will probably be re-invested into ‘infrastructure’ projects that affect national and international trade rather than local communities. Rather than saving hard-working people a bit more cash, we will instead see further developments of a third runway at Heathrow and high-speed rail that will demolish a great deal of countryside. Don’t be deceived by David Cameron saying that he will stick to his manifesto pledge of no third runway; the two year consultation period would allow him to reconsider his position by the time the next election (and new manifesto) comes around. There is a chance that I’m being overly cynical, I do have bouts of that! But I don’t like the way that pensions are being forcibly privatised, it smacks too much of Thatcherism.

 

Really?

No long rant this week, just simply this:
When the death of one of the Queen's corgis makes the news headlines, we really are in trouble!

Musical Comparisons

The Reading Festival took place last weekend, featuring some genuinely quality musicians such as Florence and the Machine, Foo Fighters, and The Vaccines. If you’re the kind of person who enjoys watching talented musicians / song-writers perform live (regardless of whether you were actually at the festival or just watched it on T.V.), then credit to you for taking an interest in what music should really be all about: originality and inspiration.
On the other hand, The X Factor has recently started showing its latest batch of ‘auditions’. The only musical talent that contestants need to have is a good singing voice; other than that, the show is all about looking / acting superficially, and having an interesting back-story. It is basically just a money-making machine for Simon Cowell and his cronies. The whole programme is so manufactured that it is offensive to legitimate music lovers.
So please people, regardless of how entertaining some of the screwed-up characters on the show might be, try to have a bit more passion for the intricacies of beautiful songs rather than just what’s on the glorified surface.

 

Decisions

A few days ago, film director Tony Scott committed suicide by jumping off a bridge in America. Initial reports indicated his primary reason for doing so was that he had an inoperable brain tumour, but that story is currently being brought into doubt. Whatever the reason was, Scott made a decision that was his alone to make, regardless of how grim it must be to have those life-ending thoughts. It’s a decision that last week was again denied to Tony Nicklinson, a man in England who has locked-in syndrome (he is virtually unable to consciously perform any bodily movements by himself); the British courts decided that to issue a ruling allowing doctors to assist suicide for those who are unable to help themselves, and avoid prosecution for it, was not for judges to decide upon. So if a doctor attempted to help Mr Nicklinson - and it would be help - they could still be arrested for murder. How preposterous! Judges and politicians alike are continually afraid to make moral decisions for fear of a reactionary (and probably religious) backlash - shame on them! But they can still manage to make controversial decisions where international political prisoners / asylum-seekers are concerned. Yes, Julian Assange will be ingloriously deported by the British government if he dares to step outside of the Ecuadorian embassy. And rest assured this has very little to do with sexual allegations from Sweden; Ecuador was happy to release Assange into Swedish custody as soon as assurances were given that it would not be followed by deportation to America for a Wikileaks trial (where even the death penalty could be considered!), but no such assurances were ever even negotiated by the British Foreign Office. Nowadays I usually have great respect for the U.S. government under President Obama, but the witch-hunt for Assange has got way out of hand.
How is it that so many decisions seem to be going so badly wrong? Or should I simply not be surprised anymore?

 

Done ... Over

The Olympics have finally drawn to a close … haven’t they? Well, if you watch the news channels, apparently not. Even now journalists are interviewing random people who are leaving the country via Heathrow airport to get their applauding opinions of London 2012; it is self-congratulation at its lamest. Anyone would think that the war in Syria (along with many other worthy news stories) had taken a fortnight’s holiday and it wasn’t quite ready to resume just yet, so time may as well be filled with bullshit! Reporters (and anybody else who has drooled too much over the last two weeks) need to take a deep breath and realise that sport is not the most important thing in the world; it’s just a form of entertainment that no longer requires being rammed down people’s throats!

Natural Intelligence Versus Natural Dumbass

Crows (or corvids, to give them their technical title) are one of the most intelligent species of bird. I will cite two examples:
1. On a bird table was placed two plastic transparent boxes. In one box was placed a piece of food, in the other box was placed a long stick, and on the bird table itself was placed a short stick. Through trial and error crows were able to figure out (using powers of deduction that most birds simply don’t have) that the short stick could be used to remove the long stick, and then the long stick could be used to remove the piece of food for consumption.
2. On a bird table was placed a cylinder half full with water, with a piece of unreachable food floating on the water; to the side of the cylinder were some stones. Crows deduced that by placing the stones into the cylinder, the water level would gradually rise until the piece of food was reachable.
Needless to say, I love crows.
But at the other end of the ornithological evolutionary scale are wood pigeons. I can only presume that these birds succeed through some kind of mass breeding programme; it certainly isn’t through intelligence. Wood pigeons can, at any given moment, commit suicide by flying full force into a window (perhaps believing it to be a tree!) or by standing still in front of a speeding vehicle. They will fight aimlessly with each other, in an ineffective and annoyingly flappy kind of way, even though there is plenty of food to go around. Needless to say, I hate wood pigeons.
If ornithology were anthropomorphised, I like to think that crows would be the kind of civilised human beings who have deduced that co-operation is more important than competition; wood pigeons would be the underclass!

Money Well Spent?

Every week I read the Stourbridge Chronicle (for that is where I am from) and a local story has recently caught my attention. The annual Stourbridge Harvest Festival - enjoyment for all the family - has been cancelled because financial resources have instead been ploughed into Diamond Jubilee celebrations and Olympic fanfare. I imagine this type of cancellation is happening in other areas also. So it’s nice to know that the apparent ‘trickle-down’ effect from big events to local businesses is clearly in effect … or, in fact, not. The demonstrations of national grandeur have actually hindered more regional community enjoyment. It’s almost as if London takes priority! No surprise there.

And in a separate development, I’ve recently discovered that local housing authorities in England are only legally obliged to help homeless people if the destitute are in ‘priority need’, e.g. have dependent children, are victims of domestic violence or natural disasters, are disabled, etc. So if I (who would not fall into a ‘priority need’ category) were to become homeless, I would be left for muggers to gladly beat the shit out of me on the street! I’m not saying it would be easy in these austere times to find funding for everyone, but even a safe room to squat in would surely be better than a cold pavement. Good old right-wing Britain: don‘t bother to help everybody because a few of them might sort themselves out and the rest hopefully won‘t get noticed!

Five Olympic Dreams ... Kind Of

So, the Olympics are upon us, and I’m not really bothered. Well, I’m bothered that the B.B.C. Parliament Channel has been temporarily replaced by Olympic coverage; apparently politics - you know, the governing of the world - is less important than sport. And I’m bothered that the opening ceremony is being given a two hour countdown programme; I don’t mean the show that used to be hosted by Richard Whiteley, I mean literally two hours of counting down. Therefore, here are five suggestions for alternative activities that you could be doing instead of watching the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games.

1. Go for a walk. It may sound simple, but most vapid members of society will be watching the ceremony with simplistic awe and fascination, so you would probably only be sharing the streets / countryside with other cool folks.

2. Have a drink in a local pub. Of course be sure to pick one without a television set in order to avoid the deluded pomp and grandeur; then strike up a conversation with another fellow drinker and advance local community spirit.

3. If you know someone who is willing to have sex with you, try to break Olympic records for duration!

4. Phone up your local M.P. and inform them that national identity has more to it than just sport. Rant on about all of your concerns for this country until they’ve missed at least half of the ceremony.

5. Just enjoy the sunshine - you know it’s not gonna be here for long.

One Of The Greatest Poems Of All Time

By A. E. Housman

The laws of God, the laws of man,
He may keep that will and can;
Not I: let God and man decree
Laws for themselves and not for me;
And if my ways are not as theirs
Let them mind their own affairs.
Their deeds I judge and much condemn,
Yet when did I make laws for them?
Please yourselves, say I, and they
Need only look the other way.
But no, they will not; they must still
Wrest their neighbor to their will,
And make me dance as they desire
With jail and gallows and hell-fire.
And how am I to face the odds
Of man’s bedevilment and God’s?
I, a stranger and afraid
In a world I never made.
They will be master, right or wrong;
Though both are foolish, both are strong.
And since, my soul, we cannot fly
To Saturn nor to Mercury,
Keep we must, if keep we can,
These foreign laws of God and man.

Reform Hypocrisy

House of Lords reform has thankfully hit the rocks this week. Some reform is required, of course: woefully outdated hereditary peerages do indeed need to be abolished; Lords who do not turn up to work on a frequent basis should have their title stripped; and as far as I’m concerned all new members should now be appointed by the independent House of Lords Commission in order to avoid party political cronyism which has plagued the House in the past. But the reforms that have recently been suggested went too far: electing most members will all but eradicate any Lords being appointed due to expertise, and vitally important cross-benchers will be diminished; the frequent petty bickering of the Commons may quickly edge itself into the Lords as the two houses would become more similar; and the bishops (even though reduced in number) will still have too much influence - I mean they can’t even agree on equal employment opportunities for women! So before reforms are implemented that would apparently ‘democratise’ the House of Lords, perhaps it is the House of Commons that actually requires modernisation in order to bring it more in line with most other workplaces in society. Therefore, here are my three suggestions for the Commons: 1. M.P.s are only allowed 28 days holiday per year (including bank holidays), and each holiday has to be authorised to ensure that there aren’t too many other Members holidaying at the same time; 2. Absence through sickness for more than a week requires a doctor’s note if wages are to be paid, and frequent absence may result in a disciplinary hearing; and 3. Parliament may be forced to sit at weekends if the Speaker arbitrarily decides that it is necessary. Yes, those reforms would certainly give the country more of the feeling that we are all in it together!

Portrayals Of Unreality

Soap operas (or as they’re now pretentiously called, continuing dramas) are bad for society. In order to continue the soaps in perpetuity, the writers portray characters - which are apparently meant to represent people you might meet in real life - as leaping from one scandal to another in a reactionary, overly emotive fashion, to the extent where people have taken this hot-headed and hyperbolic attitude so much to their hearts that most reality TV nowadays goes out of its way to copy this behaviour. Any Big Brother or X Factor contestant seems to convince themselves that they’re in a soap opera and accordingly overreacts to pretty much anything! I think people should calm down a little in general and realise that escapism can be found in much more realistic, intelligent and aspirational aspects in programmes that do not go on for ever and do not require a weekly phone-in. And on the subject of realism or lack thereof, wouldn’t it be refreshingly honest occasionally if someone on Facebook didn’t constantly pretend that their lives and relationships were rosy? Every now and again I’d prefer it if somebody just updated their status as: “Had a massive row with my partner last night about whether to get engaged, it was bitter. But still, that‘s life, we‘ll probably make up in a couple of days over a pizza and a shag.” Relationships are not perfect, and blindly attempting to convince all seven hundred of your ‘friends’ that nothing ever goes wrong is self-delusional.

Finality

It has been reported this week that a man from Britain has been convicted of supplying cannabis in the United Arab Emirates; he is now facing the death penalty. Regardless of whether this man is innocent or guilty, and regardless of the issue that perhaps people shouldn’t really be travelling to countries with backward legal systems, I fundamentally oppose the death penalty. As a civilised human being I do not believe it is my place, or anyone else’s, to take another human life against their will. Even for those criminals who have taken a life themselves by committing murder, I feel it is important for a decent society to rise above those criminals by not performing similar acts. If an enraged relative or close friend of a victim took lethal action against the perpetrator of a heinous crime, I would have a significant degree of empathy, but for a country or state to sanction killing outside the confines of warfare / self-defence is, in my opinion, taking things to a lower level of morality that we should all be trying to avoid. I am proud to say that in the United Kingdom nobody has been executed since 1964.

Right To Die

In 2005, Tony Nicklinson had a stroke which left him completely paralysed but with a fully functioning mind, a condition termed locked-in syndrome. He is married, has two children, is now 58 years old, and is contemplating assisted suicide at some point in the near future. But as he is a considerate man, he is seeking legal protection for any sympathetic doctor who would do the decent thing and help Mr Nicklinson to end his life. Yet the Ministry of Justice believes such a ruling would authorise murder. Seriously?! That would be classed as murder?! Mr Nicklinson, who communicates (I imagine very slowly) through a computer system, says he is living a nightmare of indignity as other people have to do everything for him. He describes his life as “dull, miserable, demeaning, undignified and intolerable”, and that it is gradually getting worse. Anyone who says that this poor man should have to endure this traumatic level of existence against his will should be ashamed of themselves. Also, isn’t this discriminatory against the rights of disabled people who can’t control what happens to them? Most people hope never to have to contemplate suicide, but those that do have a choice, except Mr Nicklinson! I sincerely hope that he gets what he is seeking.

Dissatisfaction With Health Inequalities

A recent British Social Attitudes Survey has shown a significant drop in public satisfaction with the NHS, from 70% to 58% in a year; this is the largest annual drop since 1983, but that was when the Survey started, so it could be the largest drop ever! There are obviously myriad reasons why this could be so, the main one probably being the coalition reforms to introduce competition into the National Health Service. But I want to focus on one local example. At Russells Hall Hospital in Dudley, patients who are able to afford to be treated privately as part of the Care Plus private treatment programme are able to park for free, while monthly charges for staff at the hospital have risen from £15 to £19.50! So hard-working staff pay more, while rich people get it covered. In a health institution which was designed purely with fairness and equality in mind, it’s no wonder that people are becoming dissatisfied.

Royal Waste

Okay, I’ll keep this short and sweet folks - well, maybe not so sweet. As far as I’m concerned (and yes, I realise that I’m in the minority as usual) the Queen’s diamond jubilee celebrations range from unnecessary pomp and outdated ceremony to an egregious waste of taxpayers’ money. Regardless that she brings tourists to this country, the amount of wealth that is spent on her and the rest of the royal family could be distributed to much more deserving areas such as NHS healthcare, public transport, reducing energy bills, building affordable accommodation, increasing the minimum wage, and on and on. I understand that some of the celebrations such as the Thames Pageant were funded privately, but the monarchy is annually awarded millions of pounds of government cash which is often spent on grandiose events like the diamond jubilee. I’m not saying we have to scrap the monarchy altogether (even though that wouldn’t particularly bother me), but at least scale down the expense to a significant degree considering the UK is currently going through a recession amidst a seemingly long-term global economic downturn. How hard-working people can applaud one family living in such financial heights is beyond me.

Medical Greed

Doctors have voted this week to take industrial action in the non-urgent care sector because of proposed changes to their pensions. Under the new plans, NHS medical practitioners in England and Wales would see their retirement age rise from 65 to 68 by 2015. Contributions to pension plans would also rise, and a new doctor joining the scheme could only expect to receive £68,000 per year when retired … I’m sorry, what? Did I read that right? Doctors are preparing to strike because they will only be receiving 68 grand a year?! Most people won’t ever get anywhere near that amount! Patients should not have to suffer a loss of medical care (even if it is non-urgent) just because doctors have become greedy in their old age. The NHS is meant to be a public service, not a golden handshake freebie giveaway! And as far as the retirement age goes, when state pensions were first widely delivered to the population after World War II the retirement age was set at 65 because life expectancy at that time was less than 70. A pension was intended to give a working person some peace and quiet in their final years. Yet over the passage of time, retirement has become a period of luxurious indulgence, foreign holidays and the start of new adventures! So the fact that we are now having to redress that balance should really come as no great surprise - well, not to anyone who studies history, anyway.

Coalition MPs Are Occasionally Okay

A new campaign has been launched called ‘Feel Free To Insult Me’. Two of its main proponents are gay rights activist Peter Tatchell and Conservative MP David Davis. It simply promotes freedom of speech, even when insulting a person or group. Recently there have been a couple of disconcerting arrests: although common sense finally allowed them to be released without charge, a teenage boy was nonetheless arrested merely for holding a placard that read “Scientology is a dangerous cult”, and a student was arrested for a joke about a police officer’s horse being gay! If scientologists and homosexuals are offended by these statements, they need to grow up and chill out. So Tatchell and Davis have put their usual ideological differences aside in the hope that a law banning public insults will be repealed. Therefore, well done David Davis for resisting the traditional control freakery of the Tories. Also in the news this week, a report has been released by a ‘Conservative-supporting venture capitalist’ (now there are four words that should send chills down anybody’s spine!), encouraging reform of employment law so that ‘no-fault dismissal’ would become a great deal easier. In layman’s terms, this means employers will be able to sack an employee without having to provide a reason, thereby avoiding tribunal expenses. Thankfully, Business Secretary and Liberal Democrat MP Vince Cable has stated his opinion that there is no place in British society for this type of removal of workers’ rights. This will hopefully prevent such a draconian policy from ever reaching fruition. So also a big well done to Vince for realising that the economy is not the be all and end all of politics. But of course, Davis and Cable are exceptions; don’t ever forget that the majority of the ConDem coalition government are still very uncool.

Sporting Integrity

Some people think that sport and politics should always be kept separate; I suppose their reasoning is that sporting events are purely for entertainment purposes (i.e. the best athlete wins, and that’s all there is to it), and morality shouldn’t spoil that enjoyment. But, as you’ve probably already guessed, I disagree. I was perturbed a few weeks ago when the seemingly amoral - as in, money driven - Bernie Ecclestone pushed for the Bahrain Grand Prix to take place regardless of the serious repression of the masses that has been occurring for over a year now (not to mention the fact that Grands Prix annually take place in China where human rights abuses are even more frequent!). I’m frustrated that shortly the Euro 2012 football tournament will partly be held in Ukraine where Yulia Tymoshenko is currently incarcerated under draconian circumstances as a political prisoner; a country which only a few years ago rightly hailed their Orange Revolution for installing a progressive government, has now managed to take three steps back for its one step forward. And on a more local level, boxing (one of my favourite sports) is being brought into disrepute by Frank Warren, David Haye and Derek Chisora. After an outrageous press conference a few months back where Haye and Chisora brawled like savage animals (for which, I hasten to add, I think Haye was more to blame as he threw the first punch - his claim that pre-empive strikes are always acceptable would have seen us in nuclear war decades ago!), they are now being rewarded by the Luxembourg Boxing Federation with a big fight payday. I know that boxing revolves around money - like a lot of sports do - but this is a step too far. Irrespective of whether the legalities of boxing commissions are technically being followed, it is clearly an immoral fight as it wouldn’t be taking place now had it not been for the demonstration of casual brutality. Boxing is meant to be a controlled aggressive sport, not one for street thugs to show off their barbarism. And unlikely as it is, I really hope Warren gets stripped of his manager’s licence so he can never promote a debacle like this again!

Olympic Dreams Equal Potential Profits

When people negatively criticise the forthcoming Olympic Games, one of the common remarks is that the event will only benefit big businesses and political ambitions, while ignoring ordinary workers. Those of a right-wing ideology often retort that wealth will ‘trickle down’ to surrounding local companies as tourism increases trade, and the whole area will get an economic boost, advantaging even those on lower incomes. However, Shelter - a charity for the homeless - has seen increasing evidence of London landlords giving tenants little time to leave their properties, or increasing rents hugely as the Olympics approaches. One estate agent has gone on record saying that properties previously rented for £350 per week were now being marketed for £6,000 per week! How is that going to benefit anyone other than rich people?! As usual, the glorious ambitions of the few are ignoring the vital needs of the many.

Financial Responsibility

In a week where Labour have quite rightly trounced the Tories in elections (with the exception of mad Mayor Boris!), I have actually found myself agreeing with a Conservative MP. Defence Secretary Philip Hammond has said that consumers and home-owners who took out loans, spent on credit cards and accepted large mortgages were "consenting adults … Households were spending more than they earned. That's why household debt rose … there were two consenting adults in all these transactions, a borrower and a lender, and they may both have made wrong calls. Some people are unwilling to accept responsibility for the consequences of their own choices." I wholeheartedly concur with this opinion. People who borrow money without considering their financial situation are reckless and should understand that their actions contributed to the financial crisis just like the banks’ actions did. A person should only spend what they can afford; it’s that simple. Monetary speculation is economic naivety. So in future, I strongly suggest that everyone only buys what they are able to purchase. It really isn’t difficult.

UN Unfit For Purpose

After the end of the Second World War, the United Nations was set up in the hope that it could prevent further terrible conflict. A Security Council was appointed to specifically oversee areas where potential warfare could break out. The five permanent members of that council - the five main victors in World War II - were the United Kingdom, the United States of America, France, Russia and China; each of the permanent members was granted the power of veto, so that any military intervention would require the consent of all five countries. These were noble aspirations of introducing democracy into scenarios of violence during a period of difficult political and social reconstruction. Unfortunately, the long passage of time appears to have rendered these constructs unworkable. Syria is a country in chaos. The UN estimates that around 9,000 people have died since pro-democracy protests began in March 2011. Regardless of a recent UN-brokered ceasefire, lethal aggression is continuing; this week an explosion in Hama took more innocent lives. France is now saying that the Security Council should consider the use of force in Syria as the peace plan is failing. Britain and the USA (although preferring to be non-interventionist) would almost certainly be willing to go along with using force as a last resort which we now must have reached. Yet the force option will probably not go ahead due to the veto of the other permanent members. Russia and China have their own agendas: they are anti-American (just watch the Russia Today news channel and see that every other story is slating the US!); they are worried about sacrificing their own economic deals (i.e. oil) that they have previously brokered with the brutal dictator Bashar al-Assad, as then they would have to share the spoils with other world powers; and they are concerned about losing dominant influence in a prime political area. Basically, Russia and China are gladly putting their own nationalistic egos first, and genocide a distant second. Shame on them, eternal shame.

Twat Off!

Having resisted for a long time, I have recently joined Facebook. Social networking isn’t really my thing; I’m not the most sociable of people anyway, and socialising over the Internet strikes me as rather frivolous when I can just go to the pub (perhaps it’s for people who have more commitments than I do). Mainly I joined to promote this blog to a few more people, but I must admit it can be fun to share music videos and general thoughts on life with ‘friends’ who you don’t see that often - once you’ve got past the mindless comments of the many idiots, of course! So I now have more respect for Facebook than I used to. However … there is still a social networking menace present on the Internet that we should all be constantly wary of for the sake of our social sanity. Yes, I’m talking about Twitter. As someone who enjoys writing, the thought of being reduced to 140 characters is objectionable. Anything that I want to say in that amount of space isn’t worth putting online; the same can probably be said for most people. Even though I have never spent a significant amount of time surfing the site, my conclusion after brief perusal is that people put mundane inanities (a phrase probably not understood by Twitter users) on the Net for the world to see in order the fill the almighty gap in the rest of their lives! Seriously, do people have nothing better to do with their existence than make the effort to tell others what they had for lunch, or how trendy their trousers are? And of course, don’t forget the smiley face! It’s akin to encouraging intellectual regression. I imagine that brain cells of Twitter users are dying at twice the average rate because they’re simply not being stimulated by anything other than moribund cerebral activity. So rest assured, I will always do my utmost to write about things that matter and, if necessary, at length. And it is my belief that when someone starts taking pleasure from Twitter, they have been twatted!

Grand Cruelty

Yesterday was the annual Grand National horse race. Two horses were killed during the event. It is time for a change. Some courses (e.g. Newbury) are flat races - therefore, horses can race to their heart’s content without the fear of death! I understand that horse racing (with jumps) is a long-standing tradition, but that doesn’t condone animal cruelty. A horse with a broken leg is a horse that gets put down! Society continually changes and modernises, meaning that human beings must sometimes change with it. When animals are unnecessarily being harmed, it is time to accept our responsibility as compassionate people and stop this cruel sport, even if it has been around for centuries. Flat races are fine, just like with greyhounds (where the dogs don’t get constantly injured to a fatal extent). So, even though I thankfully didn’t bet on this year’s race, rest assured that I will never again be betting on the Grand National, or any other horse race where jumps are in effect.

Comprehensive Isn't A Dirty Word

The Department for Education has stated that the majority of secondary schools in England are now academies or are in the process of seeking academy status. (For the purpose of definition: academies have local flexibility over staff pay and conditions.) So, when removed from accountability to local authorities or national standards, schools can pretty much do whatever they want as long as they don’t receive too many complaints and produce good grades. That may seem reasonable, but just because the grade average is of a high quality doesn’t make up for the underprivileged few who are continually left behind. If your son or daughter wasn’t up to scratch because they couldn‘t conform to that school‘s particularly individualised teaching methods, would you be content that at least your school had a nationally prestigious status? Would you have the time and energy to ‘shop around’ for an educational institution that was better suited to your child’s needs? At least the comprehensive system was equal for all and everyone had the same fair chance of success. Individual entrepreneurialism can be determined at college or university, when people rightly choose their subject options; prior to that everyone should be on an equal footing in compulsory education.
A spokesman for the Department for Education said: "It is only when schools have been under-performing for a number of years that the government steps in to ensure improvement”. So according to the government, over half of secondary schools were under-performing! That may be acceptable to a right-wing ideology, but a lot of parents and teachers are happy with their children’s education and wouldn’t want an overhaul of the system. Perhaps the government should leave schools alone for a while, let kids enjoy learning without the constant pressure of tests and exams, and let teachers enjoy teaching without the constant pressure of league tables and Ofsted repercussions. But then that wouldn’t suit the needs of capitalist competition and the desire to be superior, would it?!

Inaccurate Reporting

A recent ‘independent’ report into last year’s riots has determined that the blame lied with education and opportunity. It says that a lack of support and opportunity for young people contributed to the outbreak of the riots, and that low educational achievement of some teenagers necessitates financial penalties for schools that fail to teach basic levels of literacy.
However, the panel was appointed by David Cameron and Nick Clegg. So let’s explore these motives further.
Suggestion No. 1: One of the reasons that theft is so prominent is because materialistic values and economic consumption are promoted as the be all and end all of society. And lack of education may cause disgruntlement, but a redistribution of wealth so that nobody feels financially excluded may provide a better solution.
Suggestion No. 2: Neither citizens nor society is completely to blame for anything. There are roots in the social environment that set about a start of such things and individuals who are too weak to resist the opportunity to do something bad. Live with that reality.
And suggestion No. 3: Appoint a panel that isn’t appointed by the government (thereby, independent!). Just a thought.

More Redistribution Required

The Chancellor has decided (with the collusion of the coalition!) that the 50% tax rate for those earning over £150,000 should be reduced to 45% because the government underestimated the lengths that rich people would go to in order to avoid paying tax and so less revenue has been made than expected. But just because the monetary elitists can play the fiscal game doesn’t mean that we should give in to them! Let’s reduce the tax threshold even further so that people who earn over £100,000 need to pay 50%. I mean at which point does anybody that rich need to worry about tax?! So George Osborne is a capitalist fanatic, devoted to economic competition regardless of right or wrong; no surprise!

Lookalike

I don't usually write simple jokes on my blog, but I wish to point out that BBC rugby presenter John Inverdale bears a bizarre resemblance to the character Calibos from the original 'Clash Of The Titans' film. Judge for yourself.

Sell Your Soul

“Life is pain … Anyone who says differently is selling something.”
That’s a quote from the film ‘The Princess Bride’; even though it’s generally a feel-good family film, that line is borne out by reality. The people who tell you that no matter what happens in life, things will turn out alright in the end are nothing more than glorified salespeople. So…
1. Christianity and Catholicism promise you eternal peace and luxury in a perfect heaven.
2. Islam under certain circumstances offers many virgins (comfort for the wife, eh?!).
3. Hinduism and Sikhism grant you reincarnation into a new life and soul.
4. Judaism tries to complicate the afterlife as much as possible so that you’re even too bemused to think about it - seriously, you should check out Jewish views towards the afterlife on Wikipedia, they’re difficult to figure out (almost as if they don’t want you to be logical!).
And, 5. Jehovah’s Witnesses think that death is the price for sinning. What the fuck?!
Like I said, glorified salespeople.

Counterproductive!

Len McCluskey, the Unite (a major trade union) general secretary has suggested that civil disobedience could be timed to coincide with the Olympics. This is a bad idea.
In the winter of 1978-9 (the winter of discontent), unions disrupted Britain to such an extent that the majority of the voting public decided that Margaret Thatcher was a necessary Prime Minister. Her seeming ability to restore order to a chaotic situation was more important to people than workers’ rights. But the British public cannot be blamed for this; if bin bags are piled high in the street, gravediggers won’t dig, and the NHS is only open for emergencies, then of course people will lose faith in the current system. This may seem like an extraordinary analogy, but nowadays unions are much more easily condemned than they used to be, so it is vitally important to preserve the public faith.
I personally am not a fan of the Olympics; I would prefer to see millions of pounds spent elsewhere. But there are a significant number of people who are delighted that the Olympics has come to London, and this section of society cannot afford to be isolated. If they are, then how long will it be before the majority of people resent the unions and begin to feel that right-wing governments are necessary for orderly preservation? Then we will see another government like Thatcher’s! The one that made greedy, materialistic capitalism an acceptable aspiration. We must never promote that again to such an extent!
So please, for the sake of socialism and equality, do not strike during the Olympics.

Mind Your Own Business

After undercover reporting from the Daily Telegraph, an inquiry has been launched by the Department of Health into disturbing claims that some doctors in Britain are carrying out abortions on the grounds of sex selection. Obviously, this inquiry is necessary; an abortion based solely on whether the unborn child is a boy or a girl is grossly unethical and drifts into the dangerous territory of eugenics.
However, what was uncalled for after the inquiry had been announced, was input from the Society for the Protection of Unborn Children (Spuc). Its communications manager, Anthony Ozimic, said: “This investigation confirms the reality of eugenics in modern British medicine … Sex-selective abortion is an inevitable consequence of easy access to abortion, a situation to which the pro-abortion lobby has no convincing answer.” Well then I’ll give you an answer, Mr Ozimic! All this investigation confirms is that some doctors (almost certainly a small minority) have broken the rules and will soon be accordingly punished. A minority of rule breakers does not confirm the reality of eugenics because most doctors take a very ethical stance towards abortion and follow the law. Very few things in this world are inevitable, and tight regulation of pregnancy terminations (such as two doctors having to agree that an abortion is necessary before it can be carried out) will ensure that sex-selective abortion never becomes widespread in Britain.
The reactionary Mr Ozimic went on to say: “The government needs to cut its ties to … abortion rights organisations, as they are complicit in sex-selective abortion domestically and internationally." The reason that the government has ties to abortion rights organisations is because women need rights to abortion in order to prevent unwanted childbirth that could be damaging to both mother and baby. And as long as an organisation is not condoning sex-selective abortion in any way, then it is not complicit in anything! So I suggest that the protection of unborn children is left to medical experts, politicians and mothers.

Nuclear Proliferation ... And Religious!

The UK has signed a deal with France regarding the progression of nuclear energy, i.e. more of our energy demands will be realised through nuclear power. It apparently strengthens co-operation between the two countries. However, putting aside the problems that Britain and France are currently having over Europe, this is still a bad idea. Eleven months ago, a tsunami swept into Japan and reached the Daiichi nuclear plant in Fukushima. The result was radioactive material being leaked into the air and sea; a twenty kilometre exclusion zone was necessary - can you imagine having to evacuate your home because something twenty kilometres away had blown a gasket?! Yet that could soon be the reality. Germany has become the example of nuclear correctness: they are going to decommission all of their plants in the coming years. But Britain and France don’t care about what other countries have been through. Please simply acknowledge this point: if a nuclear power plant is severely disturbed, it can cause inestimable results. The Chernobyl disaster created problems that lasted for years, if not decades. And as much as there is obviously no chance of a tsunami happening in Britain, the Japanese government didn’t see it as a likely threat either; any random event could possibly afflict us. Nuclear power just isn’t worth the risk - randomness can fuck us up too readily!

Addendum: last week, I wrote about Bideford Council’s right not to have to witness Christian prayer. Unfortunately, this week Eric Pickles, the communities secretary, has arbitrarily decided that the High Court made an “illiberal ruling”. He stated that the ruling was “striking a blow for localism over central interference”, but surely if he is now introducing a law opposing the High Court’s judgement, that is the epitome of central interference! Pickles said that “freedom to worship” was more important than “intolerant secularism”, but forcing councillors to pray to a god that they don’t believe in at the beginning of every council meeting is intolerant by definition and opposes freedom. The communities secretary is basically worried about losing Christian voters, rather than preserving liberty.











P.S. Don’t mess with David Haye, he’ll bottle ya!

Important Principles

Two issues have caught my attention this week.
First, Fabio Capello has walked out of his role as England football manager. I admit that I’m not the biggest football fan - there’s too much dissent to the referee and deliberate foul play for my liking. But an important principle is at stake here: innocent until proven guilty. After John Terry had been accused of racist conduct, the first mistake that the Football Association (F.A.) made was to postpone the trial until after the Euro 2012 championships. My understanding (and again I’m no expert in football) is that part of this postponement happened due the urging of Chelsea football club. But we need to know whether Terry is a racist before he plays for England again; at which point did the F.A. think it was wise to put club politics before the issues of prejudice and discrimination? Then the F.A. made the further mistake of stripping Terry of his England captaincy even though he’s legally innocent. No wonder Capello felt the need to resign.

The second issue I noticed this week was that of Councillor Clive Bone of Bideford Town Council, who won a legal battle to prevent other councillors from conducting Christian prayer before meetings. My first instinct was to think that Mr Bone was being a little petty in taking legal action in the first place against what seemed to be freedom of conscience, but then I realised that ‘Prayer’ was actually on the formal agenda for each meeting meaning that every councillor was obliged to witness it. This kind of enforced worship is a good example of how religious rights can impose themselves too much onto parts of society that should remain secular (i.e. neutral). So well done to Mr Bone for standing up for the rights of secularists, and well done to the court for acknowledging them.
Finally however, let’s not get too carried away with these issues, important as they may be. Perspective is still required when you consider that genocide is currently being carried out in Syria, while Russia and China refuse to do anything about it. Bastards.

Undeserved Bonuses ... Again!

It’s rare that I write about the same topic two weeks in a row, but greedy capitalism and the immoral principles of large bonuses have pissed me off again. Network Rail is set this week to award payouts of hundreds of thousands of pounds to its bosses. Just bear one thing in mind …
In 2005, Olivia Bazlinton, aged 14, and Charlotte Thompson, 13, were hit by a train and killed as they crossed a station footpath in Essex. It took Network Rail six years to admit that their own health and safety failings had been responsible for the two teenage deaths. Imagine the emotional torment that the families of the victims must have gone through during this time. Yet Network Rail will simply receive a large fine; no other punishment will be meted out. So nobody there deserves a bonus. Simple as that.

Labour Beats Hester

Stephen Hester, chief executive of the Royal Bank of Scotland, has finally refused to accept his bonus of £963,000. But let’s not give him much applause. The only reason he’s backed down is because Labour were going to put the issue to a vote in the House of Commons, which they almost certainly would have won as the Liberal Democrats would have remembered at last that they were meant to be a party with a conscience! If it had been left to the Conservatives, Hester would have received the bonus (which, believe it or not, was only 60% of what he’d received in previous payouts - imagine how much he already has!) because the government did not want bank executives to think about going elsewhere to ply their trade. Let them go, as far as I’m concerned. In these days of austerity, we’ll find a way to manage without the greedy fat cats; economic advancement isn’t the only thing worth caring about.

South Carolina Nutcases

The Republican Party in the USA is, in my opinion, basically a party for rich people. When the Presidential elections take place in November, I will be staunchly hoping for a re-election of Barack Obama; even though I’m English and will not have a say in American politics, I know that the Democrats are better for the world, i.e. more peaceful. But it is still important to monitor the process of deciding who will represent the Republicans. On Saturday, South Carolina voted for Newt Gingrich (that’s right, he’s named after an amphibian!). Although this is the first state to declare him their favourite, it is still a disconcerting phenomenon. He is the most socially conservative of the remaining contenders. In the United States, socially conservative is often viewed in high esteem, but what it actually means is that abortion will not be funded even in the most extreme of cases, and the teaching of creationism will probably be given priority in schools rather than evolution. If Newt actually became President at the end of this year, the world may very well be in just as much trouble as when George W. Bush decided that invading Iraq was generally risk-free. Mitt Romney is still the most likely contender to win the race, but there are still some genuine concerns about his past tax returns (he’s only releasing details of the previous two years; what’s hiding before that?). Personally, I would love to see Ron Paul represent the Republican Party; eccentric as he is, he’s the most honest and trustworthy politician that I’ve seen in a long time. But he was sadly in fourth place in South Carolina. They must be mad.

Gervais Is Quality

Ricky Gervais impressed the masses - though probably not the celebrities - again last night as he hosted the Golden Globes awards ceremony. Although he was only invited back because of last year’s great ratings (rather than because his excellent comedy deserves it!), it was still cool that he got to host for the third year in a row, regardless of controversy.
This year he wasn’t quite as offensive to most people, but still cutting edge. He focused more on institutions than individuals, saying: “…the Golden Globes are just like the Oscars, but without all that esteem.” When a host can slate the ceremony he’s hosting and get a positive reaction, then you know he’s comedy genius. But there were thankfully still some pretentious celebs in the firing line. When introducing Madonna, Gervais said: “Our next presenter is the queen of pop - not you Elton, sit down.” And my favourite quip of all was when the iconoclastic comedian ironically tried to make the ever-lovable Colin Firth seem evil: “What you don’t know about Colin Firth is he’s very racist. I’ve also seen him punch a little blind kitten.”
Keep up the good work, Ricky; I’m already looking forward to next year!

PIPs Were Unnecessary Anyway

So there are some women who feel one of two ways. Either:
1. They feel desperately insecure; or
2. They are way too superficial.
Either way, this does not provide good reasoning for breast augmentation. Women who have breast implants are at an ethical disadvantage: that being, they care more about their body than they do about their soul.
Any human being who has any plastic surgery purely for cosmetic reasons has failed to appreciate themselves. I am not a representation of masculinity, but I am still grateful for what I have got. So should other people be. I don’t want to be too heartless to women who want to have their PIP breast implants removed due to recent health fears, but really they should have been more content with their bodies in the first place. Breasts are functional, regardless of size; it is a crying shame that women feel the need to conform to a social image of how the female body should look in order to impress men. There are good men in the world who only want an affectionate woman to be with, regardless of looks.
Perhaps these women who are now longing for regressive surgery should realise that they were better off to begin with. Because, simply, they were.

Will The Masses Back Him?

In his New Year’s speech, Prime Minister David Cameron has said that the country can unite this year around the “global drama” of the Olympics and the “glory” of the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee. Personally, I think the Olympics could turn out to be a colossal waste of money in these austere times, and I’d rather take a dump than watch any more vacuous and mundane footage of the royal family! But unfortunately, David Cameron is probably right. People generally do celebrate these specious national events, as was demonstrated during last year’s nauseous outpouring of jingoistic sentimentality during the royal wedding. So, the nation will unite, money will pour into Great Britain, the economy will recover, people will be able to find work again, we will all be shaking hands with each other as we pass in the street, and everyone will shout “hurrah” from their rooftops as they realise we have all been saved from the doom that has befallen other countries. And the result of all this will be … the coalition government will last forever! So be very careful what you wish for.