Mutual Friendship

The friends who really care are those who pick you up when you have fallen...

But you don't understand, do you? It has become such a trite saying that you are presumptuous. You presume to think that this solely applies to you. When you hear such a cliche, you think: “That's right, my real friends would pick me up when I have fallen and give me the help that I need; those who do not help me are not my real friends.” But that assumption makes you a dumbass! What you don't realise is that it also applies to those around you. If you are not picking up your friends, then why should they bother about you? A willingness to empathise is required. And when I say that you should pick them up, I don't mean inane jollity, meaningless banter and vague attempts to divert them from their problems; I mean a genuine emotional connection that will enrich their existence – just trying to understand someone who is different from yourself. (If that sounds pretentious, then you don't get what it is to be above shallow.) I mean displacing your own needs in the hope that your friend will start having trust in theirs – it is more difficult than most people realise. To understand the needs of someone who has different life beliefs from you is a noble aspiration. I'm not saying that you should try to connect with everyone (far from it in fact, most people seem to enjoy behaving like idiots!), but your true friends should deserve an extra effort.

So if ever someone tries to pick you up from the goodness of their heart, ask yourself what you have done recently.