Sell Your Soul

“Life is pain … Anyone who says differently is selling something.”
That’s a quote from the film ‘The Princess Bride’; even though it’s generally a feel-good family film, that line is borne out by reality. The people who tell you that no matter what happens in life, things will turn out alright in the end are nothing more than glorified salespeople. So…
1. Christianity and Catholicism promise you eternal peace and luxury in a perfect heaven.
2. Islam under certain circumstances offers many virgins (comfort for the wife, eh?!).
3. Hinduism and Sikhism grant you reincarnation into a new life and soul.
4. Judaism tries to complicate the afterlife as much as possible so that you’re even too bemused to think about it - seriously, you should check out Jewish views towards the afterlife on Wikipedia, they’re difficult to figure out (almost as if they don’t want you to be logical!).
And, 5. Jehovah’s Witnesses think that death is the price for sinning. What the fuck?!
Like I said, glorified salespeople.